A man calls Pizza Hut to order a pizza…
Caller: is this Pizza Hut?
Facebook: no sir it's Facebook pizza…
Caller: I must have dialled a wrong number
sorry…
Facebook: no sir, Facebook bought Pizza Hut last month…
Caller: okay, I would like to order a pizza…
Facebook: do you want your usual sir?
Caller: my usual, but you don’t even know
me…
Facebook: according to our Caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage pepperoni mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust…
Caller: hmmm, that's what I'll have then…
Facebook: may I suggest
that this time you order a pizza with ricotta arugula sundried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust…
Caller: what! I don't want a vegetarian pizza…
Facebook: your cholesterol is not good sir…
Caller: how on earth do you know that?
Facebook: well we cross referenced your home phone number with
your medical records we have the result of your blood test for the last seven years…
Caller: okay but I do not want your rotten vegetarian pizza I already take
medication for my cholesterol…
Facebook: excuse me sir but you have not taken your medication regularly according to our database you purchased only a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once at Lloyd's Pharmacy four months ago…
Caller: I bought more from another Pharmacy…
Facebook: that doesn't show on your credit card statement…
Caller: I paid in cash…
Facebook: but you did not withdraw enough cash according to your
bank statement…
Caller: I have other sources of cash…
Facebook: that
doesn't show on your latest tax returns unless you
bought them using an undeclared income source which, as I’m sure you know is against the law…
Caller: how dare you pry into my personal affairs!
Facebook: I'm sorry sir we use such information only with the sole
intention of
helping you…
Caller: enough, already I'm sick to death of Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, TikTok and all the others. I'm going to an island without the internet TV where there is no phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me!
Facebook: I understand sir but you need to renew your passport first it expired six weeks ago…
This is a sign of things to come, heads-up guys, Facebook is watching your every move, and their sole intention as they claim is most definitely not to help you!
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